Making Amends

When we talk about making amends, it is always in the plural. We never make an amend, singular. The words mend and amend come ultimately from the same Latin word emendare, which literally means take the blemish or the stain out. To make amends is both to correct or take the stain away from, as well as to mend or fix or heal what is broken. But it's not just about correcting and taking the stain away and fixing what we broke in the person we have wronged, but also correcting and taking the stain away and fixing what we broke in ourselves. We can't make things right until we have made amends, plural, not amend, singular. If we focus only on trying to repair what we have broken with the person we have wronged and neglect repairing what we have broken within ourselves, then we are just going to end up hurting them again, because we are still broken. On the other hand, if we are the one who has been wronged, we have to take care that we do not allow ourselves to demand amends that are less about satisfying our need for justification or vengeance and more about making sure that both we and the person who wronged us are corrected and fixed and healed. If we continue to punish ourselves after we have done everything we could to repair the damage to the person we harmed, then we have only made one amend. And if we continue to punish someone after they have done everything they could to repair the damage they have done to us, then we have only allowed them to make one amend. In order for amends to be made, both the victim and the perpetrator need to be healed. There may be only one breaker, but there are two broken people, and they both need to be mended. I hope every time we are on one side or the other, we can put our trust in the Lord and allow both amends to be made through the infinite power of Christ's Atonement.