Long Suffering

One of the virtues that we are invited to cultivate is long-suffering. One of the most common and frequent and universal experiences that we can have in this life is to suffer. Whether we like it or not, whether we seek it out or do everything possible to avoid it, we all will suffer greatly and often. It doesn't matter if we are old or young, married, single, parents, children, righteous, wicked, healthy, ill, rich or poor, we will all suffer more than we planned or wanted or deserved, or even sometimes more than we think we can bear. Since suffering is unpleasant, our instinct is to avoid it if possible, minimize its intensity or shorten its duration, and do everything we can to ignore or repress or forget about it as quickly as possible. But our natural and often healthy inclination to shorten our suffering in every way possible comes with a cost. There are certain kinds of suffering that can't be brushed aside with a quick solution. This does not mean either that we or the whole world is broken. There are lessons to be taught and strengths to be built up in the midst of long suffering that can be gained in no other way. In fact, the longer the suffering, the greater will be the strength and virtue that we develop. I remember one time touring a castle and they said when they were restoring it, the mortar that glued the stones in the walls together had grown so strong over the centuries that it was easier to cut out the stones themselves than to try to break up the mortar. Suffering breaks our heart but the strengths we develop can bind the pieces of our hearts back together and the longer we suffer the harder and stronger and tougher will be that mortar holding us together. Of course we always prefer short suffering, or, even better, no suffering, but it is in long suffering that we grow the most.