As a young man, Alma the Younger, full of anger, hate, and malice, sought to destroy the church of God. We aren't told the depths of his resentment and contempt that he felt for the church of God, but it is clear that he was not content to merely forsake or ignore the religious community and institution into which he had been brought up by a loving and conscientious father who also happened to be the leader of the church. He felt strongly enough that the church of God was ruining his life and the lives of those around him that he actively sought its destruction. Fortunately for the welfare of the church, and, as we'll see, even more fortunately for Alma’s own well-being, he was visited by an angel while he was in the midst of his campaign of destruction. The angel said to him, “If thou wilt of thyself be destroyed, seek no more to destroy the church of God.” (Alma 36:9). At first glance, this seems like a threat or an ultimatum. Stop destroying the church or you're going to be destroyed instead. But if we actually look at the terms of the conditional statement, the Lord in His infinite mercy is trying to teach Alma that his greatest obstacle to happiness and peace is not the church of God but his own warped self-centeredness and the only path to lasting peace and a rest from all of his anger and hatred and malevolence is through the destruction of his twisted self as it is presently constituted, and this destruction of the self can only come about if he stops trying to destroy the one institution that has the power and authority to help him apply the principles of the gospel and the power of Christ's Atonement. He should not be trying to tear down the church of God but to build it up. The destruction of the self is no picnic. Alma paints a pretty bleak picture. He talks about being racked and harrowed up and suffering the pains of a damned soul and other terrifying experiences besides. But on the far side of that destruction was something almost as shocking as the pain and destruction. “And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain! Yea, I say unto you, my son, that there could be nothing so exquisite and so bitter as were my pains. Yea, and again I say unto you, my son, that on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy.” (Alma 36:20-21). Alma had destroyed his old, wicked self and had been born again through the mercy and, yes, also through the ordinances of the church of Jesus Christ, the very thing that Alma had been trying to destroy. We can't taste the exceeding joy of redemption until we have destroyed our old selves and been born again through the merits and mercy of Christ. If we truly want of our old self to be destroyed, then we must first seek no more to destroy the church of God, whether that be through deliberate attacks or casual neglect. It is only through Jesus Christ and His church that we can thoroughly destroy and eradicate every part of ourselves that is inimical to our own long term peace and prosperity and to the work and glory of our Savior Jesus Christ.
