Just Keep Pushing

Repentance is a Sisyphean process. According to Greek Myth, Sisyphus angered the gods and was punished by having to push a boulder up a hill, only for it to roll back down when he got to the top. This is what repentance is like. When we repent we try to get closer to God and to see things from His perspective, so we climb that hill, only we live in a Fallen world and the weight and gravity of our weaknesses and character flaws are like this heavy boulder we've got to push against. And no matter how hard we try, we can't remain perfect, we can't stay at the top of the hill, the boulder is going to roll back down the hill and drag us with it. But that's OK. Staying at the top of the hill is not the point. Repentance is a process for sinners in a fallen world; it is for the weak and the flawed and the imperfect. Repentance is about being tired enough of being trapped in the dark under the crushing weight of guilt and shame and wanting to see the light and panoramic vision at the top of the hill and pushing that boulder up the hill one more time even though we know it's going to roll back down. The more and more we push on the boulder, the stronger we get. We start to wear a path into that hillside, making our journey to the top of the hill a little easier and a little smoother. We can get better at noticing our mistakes and making amends for them more quickly and seeking to draw closer to the Lord a little more deeply, but we will never outgrow repentance. Life is about climbing that hill to be with God and it's about being dragged down by our failures. We can't stay at the top and we sure as Hell don't want to stay at the bottom (because, you know, that is Hell) and so our only option is to push that boulder up the hill. "This thing we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down." (Mary Pickford)